LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

Puzzle Pieces

Alternative title : I’m sure there is a sadistic asshole who removes one of the central pieces from jigsaws in order to test the recipients patience … I mean, it’s all well and good having everything else in order but if you can’t complete it you kinda feel like you’re missing something significant, even if it is just Snoopy’s inane grin. 

If you read my last post you’ll be aware that I’ve been a little bit up shit creak without a paddle recently … My Mental Health has taken a nose dive and my Migraines have taken that opportunity to thoroughly kick my backside. There is nothing quite like being blind in your right eye at 4am while your Anxiety runs through multitude of possible reasons for it (courtesy of Google’s Guide to Self Diagnosing) while the actual cause (the sneaky Migraine) smirks away in the darkness at the ensuing panic … Loki has nothing on those evil cretins!

Read More

How are you?

Alternative title: 3 little words that individually are insignificant, 3 little words that can be used as a throw-away greeting, 3 little words that when combined threw me into a complete breakdown at my GP’s office. I spiraled, I unraveled … I wiped snot on my sleeve. It was not a pretty sight. 

I think it’s safe to say that I’ve been struggling recently … I’ve been hiding the physical symptoms behind a flawed smile, I’ve been hiding the negative thoughts behind sarcastic humour, I’ve been plastering over the cracks and expecting it to hold. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I can totally handle it.

But sitting in her office on Thursday before the facade finally dissolved, I could only utter “I can’t do this anymore”. I unlocked the door. I let the demons out.

Read More

Hello World!

Alternative title: Testing, testing … Is this thing on? Hello? What’s that? We’re live you say? … Hell to the yeah! Ay up lovelies, LHB Blog has internet again! Woop woop! Are we ready to talk about boobs and Yoga? … Yes? Fabulous!

As you read this chances are I am in Ashtanga class, learning how to breathe through boobs, during a shoulder stand … I should point out that they are my own boobs, not those of a stranger, because that would be one very weird (and wrongly advertised) Yoga class. Nobody ever mentioned that going into a shoulder stand would mean I was suddenly going to be eye to eye with nipples so it’s been a bit of a shock to the system (mostly for my windpipe)! How do ladies who have substantial boobage manage those poses? Even with an industrial strength sports bra I’m finding that Pinky and Perky have a murderous side when tipped upside down! (Especially Perky … That one is the leader, I’m sure of it!)

Read More

Grab a cuppa – it’s time for a catch up

Alternative title: As we head into the start of the Euro’s Ruebi and M are still without Internet … They are starting to believe they will never again experience the wonders of Netflix, of Youtube and of FML. They are also starting to believe that watching the cat take a crap is far more exciting than the various soap dramas that bombard their senses from “normal” TV channels. Seriously, less sex takes place in brothels than it does in those programmes.

As the lack of internet is cramping my social media style I thought I’d give you an update as to what the heck has been happening when I haven’t been crying face down on the floor because I totally have no idea what’s going down in “Pretty Little Liars” … In fact, I haven’t even started watching it yet, I just know all the characters quite intimately from all the conversations my work colleagues have been having about who is bumping uglies with whom and who is a “total bitch”.

They don’t seem to have a “spoiler” filter at that place!

Read More

Page 1 of 40

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén