**As a heads up for the folks who have yet to see “Spectre” (and who really want to see the film) I will be nattering a little bit about it … So just in case … SPOILER ALERT!**
Alternative title: Why I’ll never be a Bond girl.
I’m in the cinema, popcorn long since snaffled but my mouth remains open, stunned. Ladies to my right are shrieking at the “sheer phwoar” factor of Daniel Craig, the gentlemen to my left are nudging each other about “the Girl”, and me … well, I’ve just realised I’m a female version of the Quartermaster.
All rather surreal.
“He’s wearing a parka-style jacket” my brain muttered.
“It looks a lot like my parka-style jacket” I mutter back.
“That beanie hat looks familiar…” my brain whispered again.
“Erm…” I quickly shuffled my beanie off my noggin.
“And those glasses…They look like…Like…” my brain stuttered.
“Mine … Though I totally blame Reece Shearsmith* for that choice!” I murmured “I look like I take fashion advice from a guy who is very likely to wear spaceship pyjamas!”
“You have kitty pyj-”
“-Dude seriously, stop talking…You’re making this worse”
You know that feeling you get after spending months selecting an outfit for a party only to get there and find that someone else has picked the exact same outfit and you subsequently have to stumble to the bogs to try and make what you’re wearing seem somewhat different using only loo roll and a pair of tweezers? That feeling right there, is what I was feeling at that very moment … Except I had a back up beanie in my handbag (pretty sure Q’s bag wasn’t from Cath Kidston though I can’t be bloody sure).
I looked like the proverbial fan-girl!
Doesn’t help that I own (and regularly use) one of these:
Don’t get me wrong, I’m under no illusions that I’d ever be a Bond girl, seems like it would be quite an unnatural move for me to make given that I’m typing this while listening to “The Infinite Monkey Cage” (I also can’t walk in high heels or heels of any kind without falling on my arse and possibly flashing my granny pants to the world) …
I do however have two science degrees (neither of which I use as one is quite a specialised field which makes job hunting rather difficult … I now work with numbers) so as you can imagine I would probably be quite at home tinkering with little radios and exploding pens (not that Q-Branch go in for that sort of thing anymore) … Transferable skills and all that.
Though I also have a bit of an obsession with sports cars … Not sure I could be trusted around a beautiful Aston Martin DB10 nor do I think “honestly I was only going out for a coffee, I have no idea how that turned into a high speed chase or why there is a chicken in the passenger seat!” would be an answer to appease an angry Q.
PS – I’m totally not going to do a cheesy “who wore it best” vote on here either … I concede to Whishaw on this one. Next time though, next time!
*Probably best not to ask…