Alternative title: You’re somewhere over the North Sea, a child is screaming on loop, your ears are still popping as though it’s going out of fashion, some utter tool is having a rather loud (and rather personal) conversation just a row behind you and your head is experiencing the mother of all migraines…What do you do? What DO you DO?!

Do you attempt to get into the brace position, weeping uncontrollably, while fellow travellers give you perplexed stares? Do you lock yourself in the toilet cubicle, head on the wet seat (knees on the wet floor), feeling all the more nauseous for the movement of the plane and the whiff of piss? Or do you take your second (or third) dose of painkillers using the overly bitter (and by now cold) cup of tea and hide in your Superdry hoody in a vain attempt to sleep (and even vainer attempt not to hurk bile all over your shoes)?

Read More