LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

Category: Migraines (Page 2 of 3)

Hello Migraine, hello bathroom floor!

Alternative title: I’m currently lying on the bathroom floor…Grateful that it is still dark enough that my eyes don’t feel like they’ve been dunked in a concoction of acid and pins (and that I couldn’t see any dust- nay pubes – that may be lying on the floor with me), grateful that the toilet is within hurking distance (as my head has been in that bowl for the last two hours or so), grateful that, for the moment, the tears have stopped. My right temple is squashed against the ground, the cold tiles are acting as one giant ice pack. Everything hurts. I’m dizzy. I just want to sleep…

 

This Migraine party started at 2am with the utter git smashing something heavy against the back of my head (my brain probably), nausea had flared instantly with the premonition of vomiting over my bedside table following closely behind, I stumbled through the dark (ricocheting my little toe off a door frame as I went), my balance totally shot, my legs gave in and I dropped to the bathroom floor, engulfed in the nightmare.

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Two apples a day???…

Alternative title: I’m pretty sure that a small number of the GP’s in this country got their medical degrees from Christmas crackers…

 

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, my migraines have been kicking my ass…Well, technically they have been kicking my brain…against my skull…multiple times a bloody month! That combined with fatigue so strong that I could fall asleep in a Spinning Class was causing me concern. So I nipped to see my GP. Their diagnosis was that the fatigue I was experiencing was causing a surge in the regularity of the migraines and that the cause of the fatigue was…Well…Nothing in particular.

Apparently people just get tired.

Advice as bloody useful as a chocolate freaking fireguard in the middle of Winter!

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An apple a day…

Alternative title: After my bank holiday weekend was swallowed whole by a migraine so vicious that Pestilence himself would have shit a brick at the prospect of facing it (and that dude created the Bubonic Plague!)…I decided that I needed to see my GP. 

 

Over the last few months alone I’ve missed days at work, social events, days in the sunshine, days in the rain, yoga classes, movie nights with family, spinning classes, weekends (in general) and my sanity due to my brain throwing a tantrum…My avoidance of daylight is akin to that of vampires (I’m talking Christopher Lee style here! Yes, I’m a bit of a horror snob…None of that glittery, sparkly crap! I mean it damnit!).

I’ve also found that locating a trigger is like trying to find a fart in the wind…You know it’s there, you can smell it, it’s pungent, but detecting the source is nigh on impossible.

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The frustrations of the Migraineur

Alternative title: A migraine is not ‘just a headache’…A migraine is the equivalent of having sledgehammers smashed repeatedly against your head from all angles for multiple days while you try to figure out the most elegant way of vomiting your insides into a bin and you slowly start to give some serious consideration to ramming a spork into your eyeballs just to give them something to scream blue bloody murder about!

 

I fully understand that to some the notion of a migraine and what that rabbit hole entails is limited to the “not tonight darling, I have one of my bad heads coming on” jokes that did the rounds when someone wasn’t in the mood to bump uglies. I know that to others, a migraine is “just a headache, I had one of them once before I think”…Trust me, you would know about it if your brain was threatening to tear your skull apart. I also know that (to the Migraineur) when faced with the prospect of a migraine, rolling around naked in poison ivy is a preferable way to spend an evening.

With that said, if you slap me at the back of my head while I’m in the prodrome phase, be fully prepared for me to rip your arm off at the shoulder joint and for me to beat you across your own head with the wet end while shrieking “does this feel like just a headache to you?!” …(You listening S? Jolly good).

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