Alternative title: I needed something to stop my stomach grumbling like a gut possessed during double yoga class and didn’t want to snack on too much fruit for fear of sewage farts.


“You don’t even like nuts” my brain protested.

“I don’t like peanuts…Or brazil nuts…Or hazelnuts for that matter” I mutter as I glare at the Almond Butter.

“And you had a funny do after trying a cashew nut that time…” That was true, I did.

“I think that was just a panic attack” I stated, quite matter-of-fact.

“A panic attack? Over a cashew nut?” My brain was unconvinced.

“A panic attack” I insisted.

“Not really surprised the body panicked after you fed it something that tasted like turd…Just wish it would do that every time you had carrot sticks for snacks…Wouldn’t kill you to eat a bag of Monster Munch you know”

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