Alternative title: I had a fridge full of mushrooms…And when life gives you mushrooms, you make mushroom-ade…What do you mean that’s not the proverb?
“Are these mushrooms that special funky kind of mushroom?” My brain queried.
“Sorry?” I mutter while slicing the vegetables.
“These mushrooms…Are they going to make you all peculiar like when your friend S took them in that weird caravan she was stopping in?” S had called me that particular day to explain how the toaster had suddenly started laughing maniacally at her. That toaster was, apparently, a bit of a prick.
“No, they aren’t magic mushrooms…They are just normal mushrooms…The bathroom walls won’t start melting, grains of rice won’t become sentient and a giant wooden fish won’t suddenly start reciting Shakespeare” I explained with a sigh.
“So…What’s the point in them?”
“Lunch. That’s the point. A nice, nutritious lunch”.
“I’d rather be compared to a Summer’s day by a salmon made of oak”