LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

Cinema Etiquette

**This post mentions the film ‘Annabelle’ – I won’t reveal any spoilers!**

Alternative title: Some twonk couldn’t sit through a movie without checking her bloody (laptop sized) mobile phone every 10 minutes and probably attracting the attention of NASA with the beam coming off the damn thing… Honestly if they’d raided the place in search of intelligent life they would have been severely disappointed upon meeting the inconsiderate git.

 

I’ve been temper-tantruming recently about how awful Halloween celebrations in the UK are, especially given that I live in witch country (no it’s not called that because I live here). You mention Halloween to people and they instantly tell you how many weeks there are until Christmas, my gods people it’s time for you to fill your pants in fear not worry about tinsel! Unless you have a tinsel phobia in which case that is very unfortunate.

Geez what would the Cenobites say if they knew it was only such-and-such weeks to Christmas…

Chatterer

“I want a pony damnit! Whaddya mean I can’t have one, I’ve been really good this year, I’ve barely killed anyone and Pinhead has one called Mr Sparkle-Bottom!” …actually it would probably just be clicking noises given that The Chatterer can’t speak…(source)

In an attempt to indulge my love of all things horror (or perhaps to stop me from throwing any more wobblers in the Christmas decoration aisles of supermarkets) M surprised me with a trip to see ‘Annabelle’ at the cinema.

We settled into our seats, other people took theirs. We waited through endless advertisements without much issue (except for me fussing that the adverts should be over with by the start time specified on the tickets).

Then the movie began.

10 minutes in and the woman 6 seats away from me switched on her mobile phone, illuminating a large portion of the room. The phone angled slightly so she could prod at the screen (complete with tap tap tap noise) and blind me in one easy step.

“She could just be checking on her children or the babysitter or something” my brain reasoned as the room returned to darkness.

10 minutes later the room lit up again and the tapping noise resumed.

“It could just be the response saying ‘everything is fine’ and she won’t need to check it again” my brain chirped as I twitched, trying my hardest to focus on the movie.

10 minutes passed before the light once again beamed from her direction, but this time she nudged her friend and started asking what she thought of someone in a photo. It was possible to see her friend’s “I don’t give a toss” face in perfect detail.

This behaviour continued throughout the whole film. When the girls in front screamed at the scary bits, she was tapping away; when there were tension building moments in the movie, she was showing her friend photos and asking her opinion; when a guy said “oh bloody hell!” and covered his eyes, she was updating Facebook. She was glued to that device.

By the end of the film I was ready to stick the phone up her ass.

“You can’t reason with people like that” M said “even if you told her to stop chances are she would act out even more just to wind you up more…people like that just don’t care”

I didn’t want to reason with her, I wanted to turn her into a sodding glow stick!

Why would anyone spend £17 (or more) on a ticket to see a movie if all you’re going to do is mess around on your phone? If it’s important or an emergency, leave the room and make a damned call, don’t just sit there distracting everyone else. If however, you are so reliant on a piece of technology that you can’t go an hour and a half without checking to make sure it’s ok, then you have a serious problem and shouldn’t be in a cinema in the first place. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or whatever, will not collapse just because you don’t stick your oar in for a couple of hours (or days, or weeks even!).

Now I know what you’re thinking – why didn’t I go and tell an usher if I didn’t want to approach her? Well, there wasn’t an usher in the room nor did one come in and check to make sure no one vomited in terror (luckily no one did) – and if I left the room to find one I could very well have spent 20 minutes trying to find them as the cinema wasn’t particularly well staffed (which would mean I’d spend the remainder of the film knowing I’d missed something very important).

It’s almost as annoying as those gits who get the sweets with the loudest wrappers and wait for the quiet moments in which to rustle them.

 

R x

Previous

The Reverend and his elephant impression

Next

Farmageddon

4 Comments

  1. Augh! I can only image how annoying that flash of light must have been. You raise a really good question – why would someone go see a movie, pay all that money, only to not watch it? Maybe movie theatre need to upgrade the “turn off your ringer” to “check your phone outside the theatre” because I doubt many would actually turn it off.

    Anyhow, definitely bad movie etiquette.

    • Ruebi

      It is a bit of a conundrum…perhaps I should have shuffled to the seat next to her and asked her about it while commenting on her photos?

      And I agree, the notices probably do need changing to that…or “if you need to check your phone, do so now, as there will be a mobile phone jammer activated throughout the film” 🙂

  2. James

    I’d take a powerful torch and then if someone illuminated the theatre with their mobile, I’d shine it straight at their face, ‘to illustrate a point’.

Leave a Reply

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén