Alternative title: What. The heck. Was I thinking?!
I’m on the balls of my feet (again), my arms are shaking (again), my face is red (again), my butt is in the air (again) and I’m trying not to fart (again). This time though, there is also a strap around my hips, I can hear him sigh as he pulls them backwards…and I have the overwhelming desire to pee myself.
“I should have shaved my legs” I mutter.
“Your legs are fine” my brain says.
“I look like a fricking yeti” I actually couldn’t remember the last time I took a razor to my legs…Or if I even owned a razor anymore.
“A damned fine looking yeti!” my brain bellowed rather excitedly.
“Yeah! I’m a damned fine…Wait what?”
“I er…I was trying to be supportive”.
Being supportive is not my brain’s forte it seems.
Now before you all think I’ve gone a little bit E.L. James I should point out that this was a yoga class (taken by my usual instructor) in which I was paired up with someone I’ve never met before…I still can’t recall what his name was, or whether we have attended a previous class together, or even if he had hairier legs than me (doubtful…No really). Quite frankly it could have been the cleaner who had bobbed in for a cheeky perv. Who knows?!
All I know is that I finally managed to get the Downward-Facing dog pose right, a fact that struck me when undertaking the prep for Adho Mukha Vrksasana (I’m not ready for the full thing yet). It might have been this simple revelation that there are signs of improvement, or it could have been all the blood rushing to my head, either way in that moment I realised that I’ve been an utter turd-bag to myself recently.
I’ve allowed the views of others to dictate my perceptions again, I shouldn’t have done. I know I shouldn’t have done. But I did. I allowed my opinion of myself to be negatively skewed…I became upset with my reflection, I cursed the mirror, I cursed my body, and I cursed all it’s flaws.
I allowed the views of those unhappy with themselves to influence my mind-set.
After I finished 3 hours of yoga class I stood in the car-park and looked at the stars, which given it was lashing it down wasn’t an easy task. In that moment I felt strong; physically and mentally. In that moment their views didn’t matter.
I guess I just needed a different perspective.
I guess we all need to be a little bit nicer to each other and ourselves…Because we can’t really know what effect our negative words will have on someone.
Wow this post took a turn for the soppy….Urgh!
So folks – I’ve been signed up to a spinning class on Friday (thanks T!) and the instructor is apparently an utter pitbull…What would you recommend to snack on pre-workout? Post-workout? And what are the odds of me doing either a Bridget Jones (a la falling off the bike) or curling up in a ball next to the bike bawling my eyes out?
PS – How amazing is “Peeling off the layers” by Wildbirds and Peacedrums? (Yes I’m aware it’s the opening song to ‘Fortitude‘ … But it is bloody awesome! No I’m not obsessed…*Ahem*).