Alternative title: It’s a very Wintery day in Lancashire today, my fingers are numb (as I’ve lost my gloves … Actually the Borrowers probably have them … robbing gits), the pup is rolling in something that is a decidedly worrying shade of yellowy-brown, and I’m belting (screeching) out a version of Adele’s “Hello” much to the dismay of the other dog walkers … Well, it’s not a ballad without some oomph behind it is it?!
Maybe it was my amazing singing (caterwauling), maybe it was the shaking of my ass as I swaggered to the tune or maybe my higher dose meds have finally kicked in … Whatever it was, today has been a good day. Even the bellows of “why won’t she stop singing?!” and “my ears! Oh God my ears!” weren’t enough to burst my happy bubble …
They were just jealous of my talented voice … Obviously!
I trudged through the mud, slipped as I kicked leaves, embraced the bitingly cold air and pondered on the bareness of the trees.
I considered the important things in life, such as: how can I make my life more fulfilling? A change of career? A volunteering opportunity? Am I finding daily meditation helpful? What the heck has the pup just eaten? Am I still judging myself too harshly? And if you fart when it’s really cold – can you see it?
Self-reflective moments like this strike me pretty frequently … Although usually it’s when I’m in the office drowning in a sea of paperwork and trying to locate a shredder – which generally means my questions are more like: “please tell me I was not stupid enough to spill my coffee all over that report?” or “and I thought doing this was a good idea WHY?” or “why didn’t I just accept that tattoo artist apprenticeship when I was 17?!” (have to say, I still wonder about whether I would have been the Kat Von D of Lancashire by now … I wussed out of the opportunity and took a Saturday job at Woolworths instead – if you learn anything from this blog post peeps, it’s go with what will make you happy and do not be swayed by pick and mix).
Ah, pick and mix – you still give me nightmares.
But as I traipsed on the path between the trees I realised that a lot has already changed since my initial diagnosis … And that there are still a lot of changes yet to come. While I’m having a good day I’m feeling quite philosophical, I’m curious as to what is coming next, the person I’m becoming, where my life is leading … No doubt when Anxiety takes the helm again I’ll be curled up in a ball under my duvet overwhelmed with it all but today I understand that these changes need to happen.
Today I’m accepting that they will happen.
Today I’m accepting that the changes probably won’t be easy.
Today I’m also accepting that I’m about to have an epic battle with the pup who has rolled in so much mud and poop (because smelling like butt is totally something that all dog’s clearly love) that bath time is calling …
Are you folks prepped ready for the Christmas season? Or are you ignoring the impending festivities until December rears it’s head?
PS – In case you haven’t guessed … I absolutely adore Adele!