LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

Hello World!

Alternative title: Testing, testing … Is this thing on? Hello? What’s that? We’re live you say? … Hell to the yeah! Ay up lovelies, LHB Blog has internet again! Woop woop! Are we ready to talk about boobs and Yoga? … Yes? Fabulous!

As you read this chances are I am in Ashtanga class, learning how to breathe through boobs, during a shoulder stand … I should point out that they are my own boobs, not those of a stranger, because that would be one very weird (and wrongly advertised) Yoga class. Nobody ever mentioned that going into a shoulder stand would mean I was suddenly going to be eye to eye with nipples so it’s been a bit of a shock to the system (mostly for my windpipe)! How do ladies who have substantial boobage manage those poses? Even with an industrial strength sports bra I’m finding that Pinky and Perky have a murderous side when tipped upside down! (Especially Perky … That one is the leader, I’m sure of it!)

And it’s not something I can convey so easily to my instructor (J) as every time he asks if I’m ok and if I can breathe the best I can muster is “mmmpfle” which he (I assume) translates to mean “oh I’m jolly good, thank you for asking! I feel all wonderfully zen”. Obviously it really means “I am waiting for a time in my life when my boobs are that droopy I can flop them at either side of my head” … Which will then just cause problems for Hala-asana (Plow Pose) with my knees bent by my ears. I should point out that I have only just mastered the whole getting my ankles over my head thing (which sounds far ruder than it should do … Don’t you “I don’t know what you mean” me! Minds in the gutter you lot) so I’m months, if not years, off the whole dropping my knees lark!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my baps when I’m prepping for Salamba Bhujangasana (Sphinx Pose) as I get a bit of cushioning but as soon as “shoulder stand” is uttered I can’t help but groan a little and take a deep breath!

Maybe I need to invest in a snorkel.

J has been reminding me that June 21st happens to be International Yoga Day … This means I’ll have to leave my comfort zone at the door and expect to get a “guuuurrd Yogic work through” (or, as I interpret it, “a right royal ass kicking using my own feet which are somehow twisted around my waist and over my head”).

If you’re planning to dust off your yoga mat and get your zen on then today would be a great day to do it!

 

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Oh – I’m back on Instagram by the way! Until the spare room becomes my yoga room you can enjoy pics of various things we have actually sorted in our new house … Like the bathroom! How cool is my camper van?!

 

Sigh – it’s like I haven’t been away isn’t it! Did you miss me?

R x

PS – My little Trekkie heart is full of sadness (and the rest of me just utterly gutted) after hearing about Anton Yelchin … So young, so talented. I foresee tears when I get to watch “Star Trek : Beyond“.

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10 Comments

  1. Just start loudly motorboating yourself every time you have to do a shoulder stand and maybe he’ll get the hint and stop asking you to do it. 😉

    • Ruebi

      That certainly beats my idea! I was going to take a spare bra and two massive baking potatoes for him to try out … See if he can breathe with those in his face! That said, if they fell out of the cups he’d end up with black eyes. Darn it.

  2. First time visitor, and I already love you, sooo funny! Your VW bus is the best. I will be following you on instagram and of course here.

    • Ruebi

      Awww thank you! I squealed so loudly in the shop when I found that VW Camper … Pretty sure I’m not allowed back there now lmao.

  3. I constantly tell myself that I will take up yoga and yet somehow I never find the time!! I don’t have the issue of big baps, these tiny little ones would be perfect for yoga!! Hehe! #PoCoLo

    • Ruebi

      I have to book specific time for yoga otherwise I end up distracted by something else, usually the Food Channel … Though 1 class has become 3 classes in a matter of months and I want more! I think I’m becoming addicted to it … I’ll stop when I can turn myself into an upside down pretzel! 🙂

  4. Hahahahaha – I feel the same when doing yoga. Ample bosom does me no favours in a lot of poses (downwards dog involves my boobs literally dragging me down!)

    http://lizziedailyblog.blogspot.com/
    #weekendblogshare

    • Ruebi

      They just seem to have a minds of their own don’t they?! Eeee, boobs … Great for hiding stuff, terrible for yoga!

  5. Welcome back 🙂 And dang, I’ve missed the Yoga day .. again, maybe another year 😉 Thanks for linking up to #PoCoLo lovely x

    • Ruebi

      Aye, there is always next year Steph! 🙂 And it’s good to be back x

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