Alternative title: As it stands I think I’ve signed for credit checks and for a mortgage in principle and for the deeds and for the rights of my first born child to be handed over to the Devil within moments of birth (good luck with that one Lucifer lad, if the sprog is owt like it’s ma it’ll be a right little bastard …).
As I mentioned in my last house hunting post M and I had an offer accepted on a house. Since then it’s been a bit of a waiting game interspersed with paperwork. So. Much. Freaking. Paperwork!
But, I can now confirm that the only thing we’re waiting on … is the date of moving!
(Feel free to commence excited squealing here, you know you want to!).
I am terrified, I am excited and I feel so utterly sick, all at once. And that’s not just because I pretty much got lost in the bathroom section of Ikea and became overwhelmed by the assortment of bog seats (who knew there were so many) … Oh no, it’s because I didn’t expect to become a home owner at 30 (though I may be 31 by the time we get the keys – totally not counting or anything). Call me a pessimist but I’m of the mindset of “it ain’t real until all the paperwork is done” … All our paperwork is done. So I guess it’s real.
I also didn’t realise how important things like Toilet Duck and tin foil were … They don’t tell you this shit in school. All I remember from those days (yep, a “back in my day” moment) is using algebra to work out the size of a pen if I owned a goat and how to sketch an apple … That’s probably the reason why my school got demolished! I don’t want to own goats, I want to own chickens … How do I work out the size of their enclosure? That wasn’t in the freaking syllabus! One minor miscalculation and they’ll be all over the cul-de-sac.
Needless to say that May is going to be an interesting month as we start to pack up our belongings (that will live in boxes until we can afford furniture), we start navigating the various bills we’ll have to pay (urgh … So grown up), we start to learn about each others foibles (M is already aware of my obsessive checking tendencies) and no doubt I’ll get multiple kettles (or toasters) for my birthday.
So, what should my first act as a homeowner be? Bake some cupcakes and say hi to the neighbours … Or dance around in my underpants to JLo “On The Floor”? I think we all know which option I’ll end up going with.
PS – I am one very happy Clarets fan today and am still very much on cloud 9! I have made no secret on here (or on Twitter) of my love for Burnley FC (and for George Boyd with his L’Oreal style locks) so as you can imagine their promotion to the Premier League is just amazing! It’s been a squeaky bottom season with all the “will we, won’t we” moments so screaming my head off and (accidentally) tipping over the coffee table as the final whistle went yesterday was incredible.