LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

“Let food be thy medicine…”

Alternative title: “…And medicine be thy food” (Hippocrates


“And how is your diet?” my GP asked.

“I erm…” for the first time in the appointment, I was stumped.

“You appear to have lost weight since the last time I saw you” he said as he leaned towards me.

” … ” the words seemed caught.

“Should I be concerned?” he clasped his hands together.

“I’m struggling a little” I admitted “at times I’m nauseous at just the thought of food, I skip breakfasts, I eat little for the other meals…I don’t feel hungry but force myself to eat something, anything”

“I see…” he nodded “let’s talk about this”.

So talk we did…To put your minds at rest a little, it is a side effect of my medication (it was increased a few weeks ago and I’m still adjusting) – my GP has recommended a diet rich in fresh foods (“no processed crap Ruebi, if you can’t stomach breakfast take a juice or piece of fruit” etc etc etc).

Since I started my medication for the Anxiety and Depression I have lost weight…Weight I didn’t want, nor need, to lose. It is a noticeable weight loss, I’ve dropped dress sizes. It is a noticeable change of appetite, I recently committed the sin of all sins for biscuit eaters and turned down a custard cream for my brew! It has been something that has concerned me…But not in the way you would expect.

I am aware that my body is changing as the medication gets into the system, but I know it will balance out. I know I just have to be persistent, I know the foods I need to limit my intake of, I know it will just take time. No, this isn’t what has concerned me about it.

What has concerned me is other people’s reactions to it:

The “whatever you’re doing girl carry on, you could do to lose another stone” (from where?! One more stone and it will be a problem for my GP…Also, I don’t consider this statement as supportive nor conducive to a positive mindset, I believe it to be a poorly veiled version of body shaming).

The “ooo look at little miss Skinny Bitch” (see above).

The “I totally need Anxiety just to get your meds! My diet isn’t working and I have a bikini to get into!” (my mental health is not a joke, Anxiety isn’t a joke…Nor is it a fad diet. It is debilitating, it is terrifying, it makes a mockery of any control you believed you had over your own body and mind. Stop diluting the seriousness of a condition that people suffer with daily because of a bikini – take my advice, put the bikini on, rock it, enjoy it!).

I’ve written before about how the pursuit of perfection is a poisoned chalice in which we obsess about our perceived flaws, imperfections and body image demons…I know that this is a difficult battle in itself. One that we all experience at some point to varying degrees…But instead of body shaming, perpetuating stigma and making enemies, why not accept that we are all different and support one another? Compliment each other? Listen to each other?

We are beautiful no matter what size we are…We are beautiful.

R x



Finding Ruebi


Cowboy or Zombie?


  1. Unintended changes in weight are always a bit scary, and people who make assumptions or are otherwise overly flippant or rude about it can go stuff themselves.

    That said, I totally just gave myself the giggles by imagining you telling your old workplace “slimming group” that you’re on an all-avocado diet, just to watch their eyes bug out.

    • Ruebi

      Oooo I totally need to do that … Or next non-uniform day I’ll wear a shirt that says “Avocado made this”, start dancing and singing “Can’t touch this!” as loud as physically possible (I just need to find such a shirt!) 🙂

  2. You are very right that anxiety and mental health issues are not a joke. Both my brother and sister have mental health problems. It’s something I struggled to understand, but seeing it first hand I know how difficult it is to overcome psychological issues.
    When my brother started to suffer from anxiety I really did not want him to take drugs, seeing how much they affect my sister. I’ve found a book of yoga poses and meditations (accredited among others by doctors) and he has found it a great help. It helps to calm and control mind without taking medication.
    I don’t want to paste a link in case my comment is blocked, but it’s sold on amazon – Sacred Therapies: The Kundalini Yoga Meditation Handbook for Mental Health

    • Ruebi

      Medication is a mixed bag I think, some drugs work, others don’t, some people find they don’t work at all. The first one I was put on made me really ill, the side effects were absolutely horrendous and I ended up back at the GP’s less than a week after starting them, since switching to the new one I seem to able to cope with things a lot better. Although as well as the medication I do yoga (Hatha) and meditation – which makes me really intrigued by the book you recommended! I’ve wanted to try Kundalini yoga for a while now so it looks like the perfect opportunity! (I’ll have to let you know how I find it!). Thank you!

      Oh, and how are your brother and sister? How are you? I know it’s not easy to watch loved ones struggle, and as someone close to them you will feel the effects of it too. Take care of yourself Joanna.

      R x

  3. I hate that people are making jokes, as though your medication is a “goal.” I am currently pregnant with baby #3. With all three, I have been horrendously, terribly, physically ill. I have lost weight with all three pregnancies, and all I keep hearing from people is how great I look, or how jealous they are. A nurse told me at my appointment last week that she hated me. It’s terrible.

    • Ruebi

      Awww I’m sorry to hear you feel so poorly Jessica ((hugs))

      It is hard to deal with some of the comments made regarding weight (frankly I’m horrified the nurse said that to you!) and I totally agree with you that it is irrelevant if the statement was made to be a “joke” as all it shows is naivety and ignorance. I do try to take the comments with a pinch of salt but sometimes I feel the mark hasn’t just been overstepped but well and truly trodden into dust.

      Take care of yourself! R x

  4. I hope things balance out for you soon, being off your food / out of your usual routines [biscuits included!] can be such a distraction. Not what you need when your mind is so busy already.

    • Ruebi

      Thank you Julie 🙂 It has been quite frustrating recently as I know I should be eating more than I’m managing but my body is having none of it…I know it will be ok, I feel reassured after the GP appointment, I just wish it would hurry up and let me try and get back into some sort of routine!

      Also – I miss Custard Creams so badly!

  5. I have to totally and utterly agree. There is such an obsession about losing weight that people don’t see the downside of this! I wish they would – and I hope that your medication is evening itself out for you now. Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo x

    • Ruebi

      My medication has started evening out thank you 🙂 … And I can manage food a little easier! Thankfully! Though this has brought about comments such as “if you carry on you’ll put all that weight back on” … Isn’t it funny how some people view us. Personally I’m content with the idea of having the weight back on as I see it as being healthier and happier x

  6. Hi Reubi. Hope your meds are settling down now and I absolutely concur with what you say about making a joke out of mental health medication for weight loss. Shame on those people. #

    • Ruebi

      Hi Carol, It’s taken a while but my meds have started to settle … And so has my weight, thankfully! As for the people, well, they still only see the weight loss-medication connection, they seem to skip the healthy meals, the water, the exercise classes, etc etc etc that I’m constantly on with. It seems that people are more concerned with what they perceive as a quick fix to their problem, rather than seeing the whole picture of what they’re asking. So a side effect of the medication is weight loss … What about the rest of the side effects? What about what they’re actually being used to help treat? If given the full information – would they still want to trade places? x

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