LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

Pole Dancing

Alternative Title: The last time I tried pole dancing I was in a dodgy little nightclub that was decorated in a cheap beach theme (imagine if Blue Peter were given an unlimited supply of bog rolls, paint and glitter …and were then asked to recreate a canal scene complete with shopping trollies and bags of floating dog turds – really focus on that image, got it? That’s the club!)… I was also pissed as a fart…

 

The week leading up to Pole Dancing I had a “wonderful” gurgling mix of excitement and anxiety which when combined with period cramp (because everyone wants to know the ins and outs of my body right!) resulted in one very unhappy stomach come the day of the class. As a result I forfeited shorts for capris (sacrificing a bit of grip) to stop the panic about my flapjack being on show…And to hope that should I end up with a bottom burp I don’t trust, there would be a bit of extra time to make a dash to the bathroom!

I was the only total beginner of the group…A fact unbeknownst to me until we arrived. My friend has danced before…She was the one who talked me into going…A way of getting me out of my comfort zone, a way of sticking two fingers up to the Anxiety for an hour. Granted it’s not something I would have considered – it is so far from removed from my plan of duvet, horror movie and decaf tea let’s put it that way!

That said, I wasn’t going to allow my epic 20 minute battle into an industrial strength sports bra go to waste (those things are evil…Pure EVIL!).

“You’re going to fall on your face” my brain said as I attempted my first spin.

My brain was wrong.

“You’re going to fall on your ass” my brain said as I attempted a pole climb.

My brain was wrong.

“You’re going to break your neck” my brain said as I managed to get into a basic invert.

My brain…Was wrong.

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I was so proud of my body. It’s flexibility, it’s strength…A strength I didn’t realise it had.

Recently I’ve been hating on it, I’ve been angry that it feels sick so often (due to the medication), angry that the Anxiety takes control of it so easily, angry at the weight-loss, angry that at times I feel I have no control over it, angry that it shows the inner turmoil through it’s trembling and inability to prevent the tears from falling.

Walking away from the class I knew my anger had been misplaced. Instead of being so spiteful towards my body I should have been trying to nurture it, I should have been accepting that it can’t help the changes currently happening…I should be nurturing it, I should be accepting it.

Because it has a strength within it that is amazing to experience.

I just needed a reminder of that.

I guess we all need a reminder from time to time of how amazing our bodies are!

Even if that reminder comes from being in a room of mostly strangers as you dangle upside on a pole while you push yourself well and truly out of your comfort zone.

R x

PS – I’ve been struggling a bit with loss of appetite recently (I think this is down to the recent increase to my medication), don’t suppose any of you lovely lot can recommend meal substitutes? Or smoothie/juice ideas for breakfast (as this seems my worst meal to deal with at the moment)? Or even which kind of protein powder to be adding to smoothies for an additional boost during the day (more importantly – after workouts)?

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10 Comments

  1. This post had me laughing, cheering you on, and feel inspired! Well done! I am struggling to lose weight after giving up cigs a few years ago, and I sometimes need to remind myself that while not as slim as I’d like I am strong. It is an empowering feeling, and I’m glad you are experiencing that. Best, Karen

    • Ruebi

      Awwww I’m glad it made you laugh Karen…And thrilled it has inspired you! As a total beginner I fully expected to fall on my face and / or break something, so to walk out of the gym unscathed was amazing!

      Here here to feeling empowered too – it really is a brilliant feeling x

  2. Well done Ruebi Roo! I think perhaps I need to try pole dancing to get me out of my anxious state… Are you going to keep doing it? X

    • Ruebi

      I am! Have my second class this week which is quite exciting 🙂

      ((hugs)) sweetie, Anxiety is a horrible thing to deal with! x

  3. This made me roar and laugh. Well done you. Keep it up! #pocolo

    • Ruebi

      I’m so glad it made you laugh! I’m now 2 classes in and booked in for a 3rd! … Pretty hooked on it! 🙂

      R x

  4. Ooooh, you’ve almost convinced me to try it! Well maybe alone in my bedroom that is… 😀 well done you, a happy ending, sounds good! #poCoLo

    • Ruebi

      A few things I’ve learned from Pole Dancing class are: 1. Arnica Gel is amazing for the bruising, 2. Dry Hands Solution is a must, 3. A decent sports bra is your best friend when you try an invert and 4. You get no sympathy from anyone when you can’t move for 4 days afterwards…:D

      R x

  5. Well done! I know how difficult this must have been for you so you are doing amazingly well 🙂 If you are looking for extra nutrition then I really recommend this – http://www.vevivos.com/2015/08/12/a-review-of-lean-greens/ It doesn’t taste gross and is good for you! Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo x

    • Ruebi

      Oooo I’ll check that out! I keep looking for something for an extra boost! Thank you 🙂

      And yeah, I’m amazed at how I’ve taken to Pole Dancing classes, given everything else going on it’s brilliant to have that time out. To just focus on the moves and how strong your body is 😀 x

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