Alternative title: I’ve been informed by my slimming group that milk is a big no-no…Hell. No. If I want a glass of milk I’m going to have glass of milk, if said milk has chocolate in it then so be it!
My body and I have always had one of those loving relationships in which I will call it a “disgusting fat knacker” and my body in turn will respond with “you ain’t no oil painting yourself you minging sod”. Ah, lovely! I could blame years and years of ingrained bullying from my school years (in which my head was kicked in quite regularly because I “wasn’t like the rest of them”…I’m taking this to mean that I wasn’t as thick as pig shit and could actually spell my name correctly) or I could blame the fall-out of this which resulted in food and I having a complicated relationship.
I could blame every time a member of my family commented negatively on my body, I could blame the strangers that gave me the once over before scowling, I could even blame those women in the changing rooms that time who said (and I quote) “skinny bitch…Like anyone could fancy that ugly munter”.
I could blame them…I have blamed them…I won’t blame them anymore.
Because I blame myself. I allowed these poisonous cretins to get under my skin, I allowed them to shame my body when it really wasn’t any of their business…But worse than that, I allowed myself to hate my body. I took what they said as reinforcement that there was something wrong with my appearance.
I’m not accepting this anymore.
Yes my butt has a jiggle when I walk, yes I have stretch marks, yes I have to take a tablet everyday (for the rest of my life) to enable my (underactive) Thyroid to work correctly, yes I am a short-arse, yes I have acne prone skin…So, bloody, what! I also wear kitten pyjamas, is that going to be an issue too?
I should state that yes, I have joined the slimming group at work…But I have done so because I’ve decided my diet needs an overhaul. I don’t eat enough meals and I certainly don’t eat enough of the right foods. I’m not attending to slim down, I’m attending for the healthy recipes they have and the support I will need in order to keep on track (quite frankly salads and apples are so bloody boring I’d rather just have a Pot Noodle). This doesn’t mean that I will turn my nose up at a chocolate bar or bacon butty (come on, like I could survive without either of those!), it just means that breakfast is a meal I need to adapt to having (every day…not just when the hotel is providing it as part of the holiday fee) and lunch will be something other than spreadable cheese on (almost green) bread.
I certainly won’t become a calorie counter because I don’t like restrictive diets…I know from experience that I can be found raiding the fridge or biscuit cupboard at 2am because my stomach has decided to eat itself whenever I’ve tried the latest fad.
I suppose more importantly, I’m going to stop with the negative bile I spew at my own reflection. This will be the most difficult (and time consuming) part.
So readers, are any of you attempting to eat healthier this year? Do you have any recipes to recommend?