**Not really a trigger warning … More of a squeamish warning**
Alternative title: My shoulder has this amazingly cool ability to just pop out of it’s socket whenever it damn well pleases … Ok so it’s more of a ‘freaking disgusting’ ability but you know, it’s following it’s dreams or some such crap so I’m trying to be supportive (i.e. physically holding it in place at times) … Ok so it’s not an ability at all, and it probably wouldn’t dream of such a skill (if shoulders could dream obviously), it’s actually something called subluxation … And I’ve been told it’s a rather naff party trick as it makes people a little green and queasy.
Still it’s something I’ve been able to do since my teens (which are oh so far away now! – Trust me, it’s not entirely a bad thing though I do miss my bright purple flares) and it’s never really given me any grief … Until the other week when all of a sudden I found I could no longer move my arm … At all. I still have diddly squat idea on just how the heck I managed to do that amount of damage without noticing, you would think there would have been some sort of alarm bells ringing somewhere given the pain levels … But nope. Naff all. Not a vegetarian sausage.
It has started to recover with the aid of Naproxen and is now as flexible as ever … Actually it’s a bit more flexible than ever, which is a god-send for Yoga related things but I’m not convinced it was supposed to bend like that. I was under the impression that said shoulder would simply seize up and I would be forced to wear the same bra I was wearing when the mysterious injury occurred until such a time the NHS could fix it (said bra was, quite frankly, minging so I’m glad my shoulder was mobile enough to remove it … And I have been bra shopping since out of sheer fear of it happening again and my shoulder not recovering as well and me being stood in the hospital with my undergarment of horror on show! My bra buying and measuring adventures are probably worth a post for another day given they are far more difficult than hiking Helm Crag at times and I freaking hate Helm Crag with a passion!).
So why have I decided to overshare this rather gross bit of information … Well, I’ve already told everyone I know IRL about this and initially they were rather perturbed by the whole shoulder popping escapades, but now their eyes just glaze over at the mere mention of it! That’s why I figured I would let all you lovely readers know about it too …
Plus I’m slightly (read as: overwhelmingly) concerned about the prospect of shoulder surgery (especially general anaesthetic – who knows what secrets I’ll reveal during post-op recovery) AND the lack of weight-lifting / yoga goodness while healing up (I have shed a tear over this already … I’m not ready to give up the possibility of a place in next years Tough Mudder! The headbands are just too coveted an item … Also one of my maybe team mates told me she had mud coming out of her ears for days after her last experience with the obstacles, how could I ever pass up that kind of opportunity?)!
I had a call earlier today while traipsing around the Trafford Centre in an attempt to walk off the mother of all burritos to arrange an appointment with a consultant (I’m on annual leave, it’s royally pissing it down in Lancashire and our boiler has cacked out … We needed a place with heating and food!) – apparently I have already been triaged and a scan has been booked. An ultrasound scan … Aww makes me all nostalgic for my Thyroid testing days, not really as I was out of my tree with worry at the time (and rightly so given I’ve had the diagnosis of Hypothyroidism for 5 years now! Wow, time flies huh?) but at least I’m happy with their choice of scan!
Outward I’m all “isn’t that fabulous? It’s all going to be sorted soon! Jolly good!”
Inward I’m all “oh ‘eck … Maybe Zara isn’t the best place for this conversation given I can’t hear myself fart over the music being played in here and she might accidentally book me in for a kidney removal instead!”
To summarise – I’m a terrible patient and will likely shit my pants the moment the consultant devises a cunning plan … Oh wait no, that’s Baldrick isn’t it? … Oh gods he’s not my consultant is he?!
Peace and love
PS – I’ve been finding Twitter to be a bit of a negativity zone again so if you follow me on there I’m sorry I’ve been on the quiet side! You can still catch up with my adventures away from LHB HQ across at my Instagram though (mostly our mini adventures in the Lake District National Park – We’re still on a total of 4 Wainwrights here at LHB HQ and hoping to add to that tally soon! … We did intend on hiking Cat Bells a couple of weekends ago however parking is very much like rocking horse shit round there and then we got lost trying to get out of the way of a running race that was happening. It was all a bit odd and stressful BUT we did find a forest to run around in so it’s all good.
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