Alternative title: I have no doubt that had I been constipated prior to the spider encounter I certainly wouldn’t have been afterwards! 

Hot water cascaded through my hair, caressing my neck, trickling down my spine … Goosebumps pimpled my skin as the heat hit my fingers and toes, extremities usually so cold due to Hypothyroidism suddenly rising in temperature. As the aches of the day washed away I reached for the shampoo and there, glaring at my naked frame from behind the bottle, was the biggest spider I have ever seen in my 31 years on this earth.

Obviously I reacted like any rational adult … With much screaming, throwing of the shampoo bottle, expletives and a rather dramatic launching of myself at the shower door. The closed shower door. Multiple times.

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