LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

Tag: hypothyroid (Page 1 of 3)

A Spider in the Shower

Alternative title: I have no doubt that had I been constipated prior to the spider encounter I certainly wouldn’t have been afterwards! 

Hot water cascaded through my hair, caressing my neck, trickling down my spine … Goosebumps pimpled my skin as the heat hit my fingers and toes, extremities usually so cold due to Hypothyroidism suddenly rising in temperature. As the aches of the day washed away I reached for the shampoo and there, glaring at my naked frame from behind the bottle, was the biggest spider I have ever seen in my 31 years on this earth.

Obviously I reacted like any rational adult … With much screaming, throwing of the shampoo bottle, expletives and a rather dramatic launching of myself at the shower door. The closed shower door. Multiple times.

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The Lotus Pose

Alternative title : I achieved my life goal of becoming a pretzel and now I can retire to live by the sea and eat sand or some other shit that happens when life-goals are conquered … Wait, is eating sand part of a balanced diet now? Which food group would it even be in? Argh! 

Brain : “Stop! Where are you trying to put that foot?!”

Me : “Over by my thigh … ”

Brain : “Over by your … What? Why?!”

Me : “I’m trying to go full Lotus here!”

Brain : ” … What the heck is wrong with you?”

Me : “There. See! We managed it! We managed full Lotus! Aren’t you excited? This is awesome!”

Brain : “If I had a mouth I would have been sick into it … How has the knee not popped or … Actually it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to know. Don’t come crying to me if you’re now stuck you absolute tool”

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Mmmm Mango

Alternative title: #LHB_Juice_January Day 9 … Mango, Oats and Almond Milk Juice.

Ok folks, it’s day 9 of #LHB_Juice_January and we’re kicking the day off with a “Mmmm Mango” Juice … How thrilled am I that it is Saturday?! So much love for the weekend! What do you lovelies have planned? Shopping trips (I keep telling myself I need more professional looking clothes for work – apparently a tiger onesie is so not cutting it)? Meals with family / friends (because weekends are for coffees and cakes right)? A quiet muddy walk with the pups (because pups like to roll in just about everything don’t they)? I’d love to know!

Anyway, back to the juice, so why Mango you ask? Well…

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Wanderlust

Alternative title: By the time you read this, I’ll be on holiday! No I’m not shitting you…Yes I’m trusting WordPress to publish these posts when scheduled…Yes I’m having kittens about that level of trust. I’m not ready for that type of commitment damnit! 

 

“Cocodamol”  – For the temperamental noggin.

“Levothyroxine”  – For the dodgy Thyroid.

Imodium and Gin-Gins (ginger sweets, not a litre bottle of Bombay Sapphire…Wouldn’t fit in my bloody handbag *Ahem*)” – For the squitty-botty inducing Anxiety.

Compeed” – For the inevitable blisters from walking so much.

“Travel insurance…I’m sure I erm…Shit”

Despite being a walking pharmacy, I always forget the travel insurance!

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