LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

Tag: Inside No 9 (Page 1 of 2)

Choccy Banana, Almond and Strawberry Smoothie

Alternative title: Most people celebrate by getting shit-faced as a result of indulging in various fine ales or wines in a box or cheap-ass ciders…Me, oh no, I opt for cacao powder, almond butter and fruit…What the hell is wrong with me?!

 

As the ink dried on the paperwork signifying my change from temporary office monkey to permanent I was left with my head in the clouds. Finally I have some financial security…and a pension too (not that I’ll ever get to use it like, but still, at least I can say I have a pension like the proper grown up I’m supposed to be).

“Oooo feeling like a real adult now?” my brain asked.

“Actually…Is it too late to eat a box or two of Atomic Fireballs and climb a couple of trees?” I mutter back.

“We’ll have to wait for our shift to end first though”

“…Spoil sport!”

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Papaya, Mango and Spinach Smoothie

Alternative title: That awkward moment when you buy a random fruit because it looks awesome but realise when you get home that 1. You have no freaking clue what you’re looking at, 2. You have no idea how to even Google it as “kinda looks like a butternut squash but not quite” doesn’t work and 3. You have no idea what to even do with it…

 

I must have come across like a right dip-stick standing in the supermarket squealing at a box of fruits I had never encountered first hand before, I’m sure I was given a wide berth and some right weird glances…but it was totally worth it. Even the concerned mutterings of staff as I whispered to fruit in a manner reminiscent of Gollum, it was worth it all.

“Papaya my precioussss….”

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Banana, Spinach and Mango Smoothie

Alternative title: The Tax-Man stole most of my overtime money (seriously, I felt like wiping my butt with this month’s payslip in protest!)…So I decided to cheer myself up by purchasing a NutriBullet. My colleagues however, think this is a really odd and really rude contraption from Ann Summers

 

“Why are you putting those leaf type things into your tub?” My brain seems unimpressed.

“It’s Spinach…It’s good for us” as I ran the greens under the tap.

“Spinach?” My brain is definitely unimpressed.

“It’s full of vitamins and minerals and-” I start to explain.

“Spinach?!” It’s now packing a bag ready to leave.

“Yes Spinach” I huff.

“In a smoothie? Spinach?…What the hell is wrong with you?”

My brain is probably filing for divorce as I type.

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Roasted Pepper Soup

Alternative title: In which I find a rather demonic looking roasted pepper and consider repenting my sins…Until I realise that the sun will probably supernova before I finish listing them all…Sigh.

 

“Why are you making something you don’t like?” my brain huffed.

“What do you mean?” I rubbed my eyes and cursed the onion.

“Well, you freaking hate pepper…Why are you making a pepper soup?”

“You’re thinking of a different type of pepper” I mutter.

“…huh?” my brain was rather befuddled.

“You’re thinking of peppercorns, a seasoning, part of the Piperaceae family…We’re using Bell and Chiquino peppers, which are called Capsicum and part of the Nightshade fam-”

“Nightshade? … Are you bonkers?!”

This is the genius I live with.

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