LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

Tag: Labyrinth

Hair Straighteners – An OCD Nightmare!

Alternative title: Messy hair don’t care! … Oh wait no, I do care … I care a flaming lot as it happens! Because it may avert a bitch-fest, I say may I’m 99.999999% sure it won’t. 

“Are you sure the straighteners are unplugged?” my brain mutters as we shuffle down the M6.

“Pretty sure … In fact, I didn’t even use the straighteners this morning!” I mutter back.

“Are you sure? I remember you straightening your hair this morning” my brain clearly hasn’t noticed that my hair is in a very messy bun that is probably harbouring pigeons and squirrels “you know they’ll set the house on fire right? They’ll start with the carpet and then the wallpaper and then the -”

“Brain … No … We didn’t use the straighteners, they are not on, they are not even plugged in, they are-” I may as well be shouting at a wall at this point.

“Is that a fire engine?! Shit, THE HOUSE! Turn around, TURN ROUND RIGHT NOW! Oh geez, my Stephen King collection! TURN AROUND DAMNIT!”

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Aerial Silks

Alternative title:  I’m dangling upside down, the silks wrapped around my legs bearing the brunt of my weight, my arms relaxed, fingers grazing the mat and my brain – my dearest brain – is shrieking in sheer terror.

“What manner of witchcraft is this?!” It screams at me.

I start to hum a tune from ‘Labyrinth’ and put a spin on my silks.

“What the heck dude? I’ll be sick – I mean it! Don’t make me tell your stomach!” It hollers.

I clasp my hands together and smile as we twirl.

“Go to an exercise class you said, it’ll be fun you said, you never said we’d be suspended from the ceiling in an ex-pub by some crappy bits of fabric!” It huffs “This is like the time you said we were going for ice-cream and we ended up at the GP’s office!”

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