**As a heads up for the folks who have yet to see “Spectre” (and who really want to see the film) I will be nattering a little bit about it … So just in case … SPOILER ALERT!**

Alternative title: Why I’ll never be a Bond girl. 

I’m in the cinema, popcorn long since snaffled but my mouth remains open, stunned. Ladies to my right are shrieking at the “sheer phwoar” factor of Daniel Craig, the gentlemen to my left are nudging each other about “the Girl”, and me … well, I’ve just realised I’m a female version of the Quartermaster.

All rather surreal.

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