Alternative title: What is all this sparkly, glittery junk all over the living-room? It looks as though a horde of unicorns (or one Edward Cullen) has experienced a violent episode of explosive diarrhea (yes I had to Google the spelling), the sofa is covered, the fireplace is covered, it’s even up the curtains!… And why the fudge is there a knife wielding Snowman giving me the evils?!
There is a tree in the living-room…This is not a drill people! There is a freaking tree, in the living-room! The Pup is watching it with a look in his eyes that can only be interpreted as said tree being either eaten or urinated on or both in the near future. I’m observing the weather and considering going for a walk, a very very long walk…until February maybe.
“Do you like it?” mum asked, incredibly proud of herself.
“Please tell me you didn’t kill any elves when robbing this lot from the grotto…Could do without a miffed Santa wrapping up reindeer turds as presents for us all”.
Seriously, you can see this shit from space. And Santa, if she did steal it, I’m sorry! Don’t give me turds for Christmas!