LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

Tag: spoonie blogger

Shoulder goes POP!

**Not really a trigger warning … More of a squeamish warning**

Alternative title: My shoulder has this amazingly cool ability to just pop out of it’s socket whenever it damn well pleases … Ok so it’s more of a ‘freaking disgusting’ ability but you know, it’s following it’s dreams or some such crap so I’m trying to be supportive (i.e. physically holding it in place at times) … Ok so it’s not an ability at all, and it probably wouldn’t dream of such a skill (if shoulders could dream obviously), it’s actually something called subluxation … And I’ve been told it’s a rather naff party trick as it makes people a little green and queasy. 

Still it’s something I’ve been able to do since my teens (which are oh so far away now! – Trust me, it’s not entirely a bad thing though I do miss my bright purple flares) and it’s never really given me any grief … Until the other week when all of a sudden I found I could no longer move my arm …  At all. I still have diddly squat idea on just how the heck I managed to do that amount of damage without noticing, you would think there would have been some sort of alarm bells ringing somewhere given the pain levels … But nope. Naff all. Not a vegetarian sausage.

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Puzzle Pieces

Alternative title : I’m sure there is a sadistic asshole who removes one of the central pieces from jigsaws in order to test the recipients patience … I mean, it’s all well and good having everything else in order but if you can’t complete it you kinda feel like you’re missing something significant, even if it is just Snoopy’s inane grin. 

If you read my last post you’ll be aware that I’ve been a little bit up shit creak without a paddle recently … My Mental Health has taken a nose dive and my Migraines have taken that opportunity to thoroughly kick my backside. There is nothing quite like being blind in your right eye at 4am while your Anxiety runs through a multitude of possible reasons for it (courtesy of Google’s Guide to Self Diagnosing) while the actual cause (the sneaky Migraine) smirks away in the darkness at the ensuing panic … Loki has nothing on those evil cretins!

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Aerial Silks

Alternative title:  I’m dangling upside down, the silks wrapped around my legs bearing the brunt of my weight, my arms relaxed, fingers grazing the mat and my brain – my dearest brain – is shrieking in sheer terror.

“What manner of witchcraft is this?!” It screams at me.

I start to hum a tune from ‘Labyrinth’ and put a spin on my silks.

“What the heck dude? I’ll be sick – I mean it! Don’t make me tell your stomach!” It hollers.

I clasp my hands together and smile as we twirl.

“Go to an exercise class you said, it’ll be fun you said, you never said we’d be suspended from the ceiling in an ex-pub by some crappy bits of fabric!” It huffs “This is like the time you said we were going for ice-cream and we ended up at the GP’s office!”

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