Alternative title: I fell off the healthy diet wagon face first and straight into a slice of black forest cake…And loved every delicious minute of it!
“I shouldn’t get a piece” I muttered at M as we queued for coffee*
“One piece won’t do you any harm” M said.
“I shouldn’t…It’ll make me fat” and there it is, the familiar feeling of anxiety.
“One piece of cake will not make you fat…It’s not as though you have this everyday” M reassured.
“Stop it! Just bloody stop it! That mentality is not a good thing, there is nothing wrong with the size of your backside or your gut…That cake is not the enemy, that cake is a treat. A treat that is eaten in moderation but a treat none-the-less! Relax…Now order the damned cake, forget the fork, just ram it in your mush and savour it!” my brain butted in.
So I did as I was told.
For as long as I remember I’ve had issues with food…More than once it has reached an obsessional stage where the mere thought of eating would send me into a panic. It took a lot of time, patience and talking to work through those points…To realise that food isn’t the enemy, but rather that the negative connotations I had associated with it were.
So while ordering cake would have probably thrown my slimming club into a total meltdown (had they not already revoked my membership over an avocado...I know, I know, daft), it was in fact a good thing. Not just because I got to taste the gorgeous combination that is chocolate and cherry, but because I allowed myself a treat and in doing so I in effect gave the ‘fudge you’ salute to that annoying little voice of anxiety telling me that my butt is going to swallow a chair should I even glance at anything sweet.
So yes, I fell off the healthy eating wagon.
I could make excuses…Such as “M helped me eat it” (he did too), “it had cherries in it, that means it’s healthy right?” (I know it’s not), “you can’t have coffee without cake, that’s just bloody sacrilege” (sort of true)…
…Ultimately though the excuses wouldn’t (and don’t) matter. I am responsible for my own health and my own body.
It may sound like the biggest excuse of all….But I couldn’t care less. It was one slice of cake, it was one coffee, in a diet consisting mostly of fruit and vegetables and water. My clothes still fit, my weight hasn’t changed and my butt hasn’t eaten a chair…what has changed is my mentality. While I won’t be scoffing my way through the bakery section of the local supermarket anytime soon, I will be allowing myself the occasional sweet treat. And no, I won’t feel guilty about it!
So folks, how many of you have indulged in a treat since starting your healthier diets? Do you think it is better to allow a treat every once and a while or to try and completely ignore them? …Can people really ignore black forest cake?!
*For those interested in my caffeine reducing antics – I’m down to a coffee a day, sometimes I don’t even have that (no caffeinated tea either)! I still have cravings when I get a whiff of a freshly brewed pot of the stuff but I’ve learned to simply enjoy the smell of it. I no longer want to stuff someone’s head up their backside for suggesting I just make a cup of it or for dismissing caffeine withdrawal as simply drama queen behaviour… That’s progress right?