Alternative title: Because sometimes I’d rather not have to explain the far end of a fart about my Mental Health issues to a complete stranger for the 3rd time in a matter of weeks … I may just leave a note with the receptionist next time with a “check my blog before consultation as will save 7 out of my allocated 10 minute appointment slot”. Grumble grumble grumble.
Since my medication was changed to Mirtazapine just over a month ago I’ve been back and forth to my GP surgery to discuss the dosage, the side effects, etc etc etc. Which is great, I’m all for regular check ups … Especially when the medication is new and the side effects are rather, well, scary (very negative thoughts all up in ma noggin!). What I don’t like is the fact that my last appointment signified the 5th GP I’ve seen about this, with my next check up being with a 6th … It’s terrifying enough walking into the surgery somedays but other days, when the Anxiety is peaking, it’s absolute hell! So throw in a new GP and that’s it, I’m an absolute mess!
During my last appointment I was trying to convey my reasons for disliking the Mirtazapine … I haven’t felt as though it’s been a good fit for me. Yes it helps me sleep (oh man, does it help me sleep!), yes it’s given me an appetite (I want to eat. All. The. Time. I’m not kidding) … But, my mood has been constantly low, my outlook on life has been pretty shitty, the negative thoughts are downright scary, I’ve been irritable to the point that being unable to open a jar of coffee left me wanting to throw an epic arm-flailing-legs-kicking tantrum and I can’t even take a piss without wanting to cry my eyes out (honestly, I cried that someone put puppies on a roll … What the hell is that about?!).
So as well as explaining how I came to be on Mirtazapine in the first place, I also had to try and explain all of the above. To which the new GP tapped her keyboard, printed me a prescription for max dose Mirtzazapine and said “come see me in two weeks … Unless you’re worried you’ll act on your thoughts, in which case come in sooner”.
Erm … Huh.
A part of me is craving consistency with this as I’m sure each GP has a differing view and approach to Mental Health (and the treatments) … Just as each person has a different take on it. Plus having the same GP allows for one thing to remain unchanging in a situation that is constantly changing, being able to focus on the fact that I’m seeing a practitioner that I know eases the Anxiety a bit. It tips the tables slightly in my favour. But more than that, I’m craving a feeling of trust. You see, Depression tells me not to trust people … Family, friends, whoever – it doesn’t discriminate. So when faced with a name I don’t recognise on the board, with Anxiety already shrieking away, it’s alot easier for me to accept it when the Depression says “they won’t believe you”.
I know resources are stretched, I know it’s coming up to flu jab season (there’s a queue around the block at the surgery Monday-Friday throughout November I kid you not) and heck, part of me thinks I’m being completely irrational and selfish for wanting the same GP.
But I still do.
There are only two GP’s left at the surgery that I haven’t had an appointment with … I wonder if they give out medals for the first person to see the whole darned practice (both permanent and locum) staff? Shit, eventually I’ll end up explaining Anxiety squits to the cleaners as they empty the bins outside the cubicles at this rate.
How do you lovely lot feel about having to see different GP’s for the same issue? Should seeing the same GP be standard practice?