Alternative title: The last time I tried to sew anything using a machine I nearly ended up with a trip to A&E with my fingers stitched together…I’m not a fricking Stepford Wife! I can just about remember to change my undercrackers on a daily basis, being creative and arty-crafty is just not my forte..So why oh why did I decide not to just buy a sodding yoga bag from ebay (cheap as bloody chips!)?
During my last sweaty session at yoga I noticed that my mat’s bag was looking worse for wear (read as: the backside had fallen out of it and my poor mat landed in a muddy puddle en route back to my car…Damn you Lancashire with your totally rubbish weather!). So I faced a dilemma, do I just throw £3 at the internet and hope the bag it throws back isn’t a sack of turd, or do I create my own
sack of turd bag and hope beyond hope that I don’t manage to put a needle through my finger – you can see where this is going can’t you? Yes I’m that much of a moron that I opted to make my own bag.
It started with a trip to the local fabric shop…I have to be honest, I’ve never experienced a place like it. It was, well…
I was supposed to be there 30 minutes at the most…Over an hour later and I was still traipsing around in this newly discovered world as Hozier played over the radio on (what felt like) repeat. I wondered if I’d managed to open the door to the Twilight Zone with how peculiar the place was (as an aside, does anyone remember the Twiglet Zone adverts?).
I was saved from the vinyl aisle by mountain rescue after staff reported hearing a gentle blubbing emanating from behind a roll of lime green faux leather…I was found clutching a roll of fabric for comfort and waffling on about how I wanted a tuna-mayo panini with extra cheese, said fabric would later find itself re-homed, the panini however wouldn’t (I ended up scoffing a bowl of porridge with honey instead).
Armed with fabric, a zip and a sewing machine (thanks mum!) I set to work; measuring, cutting and stitching (the fabric, not my fingers, though I had a couple of near misses because I’m such a dozy sod)…That is, until I broke the needle and had to wait three days for replacement ones to arrive. Cue a lot of sighing and huffing and making of tea until the postman delivered the parcel.
Sewing attempt (without breaking anymore needles) take two began. The result…
I may already be planning a second trip to the fabric shop…I just need a couple of weeks to get a mountaineering rucksack prepped full of energy bars and cans of cider…And probably a tent.
So folks, what arty-crafty things are you working on at the moment? Let’s see your work!