LHB Blog

A girl, a blog and a cactus named Pudding

Thoughts upon turning 30

Alternative title: SPOILER ALERT – it feels the same as being twenty-freaking-nine!

 

Well, it’s official…I’m 30. No, I didn’t wake up on my birthday suddenly brimming with confidence that oozed sexiness so profoundly that a few men (and a few women) the world over fainted at the slightest swish of my jiggly ass. No, I didn’t produce unicorn farts (I seriously feel like I’m missing out with that one), I didn’t change my (rather cynical) perspective on humanity nor did I become enamored with the concept of taking over the world (much). What did happen was that I awoke on my birthday and realised that my eyebrows looked like a caterpillar orgy occurring on my forehead, I noticed a new grey hair taking the piss out of me from within my fringe and I then argued with a pair of rather skinny jeans. The jeans won.

Needless to say, I booked myself in to have the eyebrows threaded (nothing says happy birthday like ripping hairs out of your face).

Needless to say, it felt like any other day.

I feel there is far too much pressure placed on these ‘big’ birthdays that slowly ebbs away at the individual reaching that ‘milestone’. My family for example are very much of the mind-set that if you reach that stage without having children or being married then it’s time to hide your ovaries in a dusty box under the floorboards and go for a tantrum at the hairdressers over their poor assortment of blue rinse shades.

Friends and colleagues have mentioned that when you turn 30 you finally find your place in world (guessing mine is wherever my orange Vans are), that you see your own reflection and go “hey baby, looking fine!”, that confidence slaps you in the face with a “bitch, we got this!”…

If I’m being honest, I still have no idea what my purpose in life is (career or otherwise), I look at my reflection and see the same flaws I saw before, and confidence…Shit…If anyone sees that sod tell it it’s a few days late to my party (no, there is no chocolate cake left).

The truth is, hope you’re listening, that 30 is just a number.

How we feel about life is not going to magically change just because the clock ticked over to your birthday. How we feel about our careers/bodies/whatever is something we each have to work on…Our lives after all, are ours to shape. Each is unique because we are unique.

I spent the day after my 30th in a place close to my heart…I got muddy feet from splashing in puddles, I indulged in my favourite gingerbread, I stood in awe at how beautiful our world can be…I spent it mulling over questions such as “am I good enough?” (thanks anxiety you insufferable bastard), “egg and soldiers or French toast and maple syrup?” (French-freaking-toast for the win!) and “holy shit! How cold is that bloody shower?!” (my bad, can’t work a simple knob…Oy, minds out of the gutter please!).

 

Lindeth Fell

Anyone else think of the Overlook? … Just me? … Guess I’ve been a horror movie addict for far too long. That said, this hotel is absolutely gorgeous; if you get chance to stay at Lindeth Fell then do! The staff are so amazing, the food is fabulous and the views are just stunning! …If you want to catch up on my Lake District pics, they can be found here.

 

I had to be dragged kicking and screaming back home…And the ‘returning to work blues’ have been absolutely horrendous! How many of you folks have suffered with post-bank holiday blues today?

So while 30 isn’t this massive moment of realisation that answers all your questions* it’s still a day to celebrate…It’s still a day for cake!

Suppose I should be grateful about the unicorn farts though…Nobody wants a multi-coloured gas cloud following you around after you’ve dropped a silent-but-deadly so fierce it makes eyes water. Would ruin my shopping trips!

R x

*PS – The answer to all questions, (life, the universe and everything) is 42.

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20 Comments

  1. Happy Birthday!

    • Ruebi

      Thank you πŸ™‚ … I’d offer cake, but I kinda, well, ate it all. Oops.

  2. Happy Birthday!! I have not reached the birthday yet that had this huge life-changing impact. I just realized yesterday that I have a birthday coming in a few weeks, and my interest level is zero. I am looking forward to cake, though, and I’ll let you know if 44 is the magic age for producing rainbow farts. That would make it worthwhile for sure! πŸ˜‰

    • Ruebi

      I know right?! Rainbow farts would be a fun and exciting way to announce us reaching a certain milestone πŸ™‚ (as well as probably announcing our attendance at an event – eep!). I’m quite surprised I didn’t react the same way as my father (as he doesn’t handle getting older well), he just plain refused to even get out of bed on his last ‘big’ birthday.

  3. This is such a great post! Turning 30 and having a family is just another unrealistic standard women (and probable men) have to live up to. I hate it and I honestly dread the day my family start doing it to me. Thank you for this honest post! xo

    • Ruebi

      If I’m honest, questions regarding whether I’m getting married and having children started around the time I finished school – while I was planning my A-Levels my family wanted to know if I was serious about a guy I was seeing (more specifically, if I thought he was “the one” – he wasn’t). I’ve stopped attending family events purely because I’m so tired of telling people that it’s my body, it’s my womb, it’s my decision! It’s a shame that it had to come to that, but I’m better for not having that additional pressure. x

  4. Happy birthday πŸ™‚

  5. Glad you can see the good side…I’m 31 and personally I think life just keeps getting better! You have less to prove I think, you worry less what other people think and you’ve started to understand better your own style and likes/dislikes πŸ™‚

    • Ruebi

      I was told that overnight I would either go from a body conscious 29 year old to an overly confident sexual goddess or I would end up crying over my boobs suddenly being less perky…Neither has happened. Body has not magically changed at all! Boobs do not need tucking into socks (yet).

      I am quite excited for my 30s…I have so many plans! Mostly grown up ones (like buying a house) but they’re still exciting plans πŸ™‚

  6. Haha! Well said! I have to check myself sometimes when panicking about what I “should have” achieved by now. I definitely agree with you, there is no appropriate time scale for an individual life.
    Hope you had a lovely birthday! πŸ™‚

    • Ruebi

      I think we compare ourselves to others in the same age bracket way too much and think “oh shit, I should have done x,y,z by now”, in reality life doesn’t tend to run very smoothly. I think as long as we go at our own pace then we’ll achieve whatever we want to achieve, and will probably enjoy the process a lot more! πŸ™‚

  7. Happy Birthday!

  8. Happy birthday.. I am not far from my 30th and it’s good to know i will still be as clueless then. I guess i will have to wait till my 42nd!

    • Ruebi

      Thank you πŸ™‚ And perhaps that is the key, our 42nd birthdays are when we have all the answers!

  9. This is by far the most truthful piece about turning 30 I’ve read. Like you, I reached the same milestone in March. And though people (family and friends alike) were making such a big deal of it, it was nothing special to me (well, maybe special enough for cake…and ice cream…but that’s it!) 30 is a milestone to many, but not to me. Giving birth to my daughter is a milestone, finishing my first novel is a milestone. But turning a year older? It’s just a number, like you said. We’re so much more than the numbers we identify with–whether it’s weight, dress size or age. They’re just numbers. It’s what we do with and during those so-called milestone years that matters. Thank you for such powerful piece, Reubi! I’m glad to know I’m not alone in crossing over the threshold to my 30s and still feeling the same as 29…

    • Ruebi

      Hi Maria,

      Yay to turning 30 (and to cake…and to ice-cream)…Happy belated birthday! πŸ™‚

      And I totally agree, we are more than just numbers. It is what we do with our ‘milestone’ years that matters more, the experiences we have and the time we get to spend with those we love. I’m so glad that you could identify with this too!

  10. Terry Tyler

    You’re right, the ‘milestone’ birthdays are just numbers. I spent my 30th having a quiet dinner with 2 girlfriends (very different from my usual rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle of the time), because I was going through a horrible divorce and didn’t feel it was much to celebrate. I spent my 40th having a fabulous, 24 hour long party for all friends and family. On my 50th, I got drunk on Cromer pier with 2 good friends and my the man who was to become my 3rd husband – no big family celebration!!! I think, also, that you ‘thirties’ don’t kick in for a couple of years. Like your 40s… and your 50s!!!

    This is a most excellent piece πŸ™‚

    • Ruebi

      Thank you Terry πŸ™‚

      I think so many people had built up turning 30 into something huge (as though you wake up on the morning of your 30th and your life is just sorted out…) that I wasn’t sure what it would be like. To find that nothing changed dramatically (just like every other birthday before it) made me realise that there was so much unnecessary pressure on us when it came to milestone birthdays.

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