Alternative title: It’s no secret that I can’t dance, I have no sense of rhythm … In fact, I am probably the only person on the planet who can put Carlton Banks to shame! Yet there I was, pulsing squats and belting out the words to “Booty” in my dulcet (read as: tone deaf) Northern tones like a right royal tit.
Did I look like a tool? Yes (not much of a change from normal there then). Was I completely out of sync? More than likely (I walked into a door this morning so very likely – I am a disaster area!). Was I sweating buckets? Erm, can we say ‘glistening like the goddess I am’? (I was freaking drenched – back and butt sweat is the worst! Urgh).
I could hardly say no to this Zumba class given that my bestie (and fabulous Pole Dancing partner) S was teaching it … If I had said no, chances are she would have dragged me there kicking and screaming regardless of whether or not I happened to be wearing kitty pyjamas at the time.
The class was mostly newbies (so I felt right at home!) there for the exercise, there for the giggles or there because their bestie threatened them with a foot up their ass if they didn’t. One thing I do have to say about Zumba is that you really do just have to go with it, if you mess up a move just laugh it off! If you lose where you’re up to in the routine, just relax and join back in when you can get back into sync! And if the instructor tells you to squat … You bloody squat!
Squat as though you really mean it.
Squat as though your life depends on it.
Squat as though it is the last thing you will ever do.
Otherwise the instructor will call you out on it and make you deepen the squat until you can see through time from the exertion. Or pass out.
Remember folks … Squats are friends … Evil friends!
Any Zumba fanatics or fellow Zumba newbies out there? What lasting memory do you have from your first class?
And yes, I am aware that this class felt like a mini-breakthrough when it comes to my Anxiety – I cannot stress enough how amazing it is to work out with a supportive group of ladies (most of whom met moments before the class started) who not only encouraged each other when it got tough, but also laughed and joked alongside one another to keep it all easy going and fun.
PS – Recovery for said Zumba class turned out to be a binge watch of “The Night Manager” (I know, I am soooo behind with this!) … And can I just say, why did no one tell me Tobias Menzies was in this?! I near let out a fan-girl squeal when I realised … Only stopped because I had a mouthful of tea going on (I learned my lesson after last time)!